8pm - 9pm
Published Nov 22 2002, 19:58 GMT | By Jason Crawley
8.00 The housemates are all gathered on the sofa, continuing to sew and talk about Les's bowel movements; what goes around comes around. 'So it's come to this!', Anne states, and Sue wonders if she's blown it by asking Anne to take part in the farting discussion; 'it's ying and yang', she says, before trying to mimic an Ewok. Anne joins in, before Les tries to compare his fart to the sound of another Star Wars characters. Melinda brings up the subject of the 'Gremlins' film, and they all try to imitate the characters from that movie.
8.02 Melinda is called to the diary room, as Sue and Anne wonder if she'll be penalised for improper use of her throat pastilles, and Les asks Anne for some help in determining the order of the patches on his main patch; Anne brings up the subject of nominations, and wonders about the reasons to give. 'Let's not discuss it, please', Sue says, and Les adds that they really do get on and have made a nice experience between them.
8.04 Les wonders whether they'll get a reunion, and Anne states they will 'unless someone gets to fly to Hollywood for a movie'. Sue proposes that they meet up for regular apple bowling tournaments and murder mysteries, and Anne states that she's got some washing up to finish, but not before comparing the BB experience to the real life/fiction element of the Gary Shandling Show. Les wonders whether Melinda's been called in to give her nominations, but Sue sets him straight; 'they'll have it live to capture the full madness', she says.
8.06 Mark Owen clarifies the mechanics of nominating, in which they choose two people for the public vote, and Sue reckons the nominations will be evenly spread resulting in more than two people going to the vote; Les points out that Claire Sweeney didn't get a single vote against her in the last Celeb BB, but Anne wonders if they'll 'be more ruthless than that'. Mark states that he'll have to have his duvet cover hand-washed by anyone who takes his bed after he goes, as Les wonders what he's done to it.
8.08 Goldie wonders if the psychologists are currently examining them and their behaviour to the nth degree, and Les sighs before Goldie states that the nominations are 'nerve-wracking'; 'only if you think about it', says Sue, while Anne points out that her nerves are beginning to build too. Goldie states that he hopes he gets to 'murder' someone before he leaves the house, before the housemates propose to have another murder mystery before nominations.
8.10 Les wonders if Melinda is nominating now as she's been in the diary room for a long time and is having to expand on her reasons, before Goldie wonders if he's going to completely 'lose it' when he does his nominations; Sue states that he'll probably put all five names up, and tells Les that he definitely won't be able to tell BB who he wants to stay in, rather than leave, saying 'I've seen people try it every way'. The sound is dipped as Sue mentions that the Social Services contain a few 'rotten apples', presumably relating to Goldie's childhood.
8.12 Goldie calls himself a 'sap' for making another mistake that he can't believe, while Melinda puts Les and co. out of their misery by saying that she had a chat with BB rather than nominations; 'did they say rest assured?', Sue says, and Anne mentions that she's so nervous, she's stacked every one of her felt pieces neatly on top of each other. Les mentions that people make the 'urgh-urghh' sound from Family Fortunes every time he walks down the street, and Melinda calls herself a 'silly cow' for losing a needle; Les states that he lost one briefly but found it in his fleece.
8.18 The sewing continues, with Goldie talking about Doha; 'shut that Doha', jokes Anne, as Sue passes Mark the scissors. Melinda mentions the film 'One Of Our Dinosaurs Has Escaped', and Sue remarks that Dough McClure starred in it, which leads Goldie and Les to mention productions that Troy McClure has starred in; they then try to whistle the tune, and Melinda mentions that Ralph is her favourite. Sue mentions Ralph saying 'my cat's called mittens' and remembers that his father is the Chief of Police.
8.21 Goldie mentions that Jane Leeves from Frasier is the highest paid British actress, and Les recalls that she used to be one of Benny Hill's girls, before commenting that her Manchester accent is the strangest one he's ever heard; Melinda mentions that her tummy's feeling a bit strange, which causes Les to ask if anyone wants to swap with him to accompany Melinda on her shift. 'I'll hold your hair if you're sick', Sue says, before Goldie mentions Harry Potter.
8.23 'Oh no', says Goldie as he continues to sew his yellow patches together, and the housemates fall silent as they continue their stitchwork; Mark tells Melinda that he's messed his up so much that he's started again. 'I haven't done it in straight lines', he says, and cuts the individual pieces about, while some sporadic whistling interrupts the silence as Sue comments that she's really used to sewing by now.
8.25 'My boil's come up, that's good', Sue says as she points to her chin, and Melinda states that she might be getting one too; 'it's a wart', Sue tells her while Mark attributes the spots to the air conditioning. She mentions 'Men In Black', but tells Les that she didn't go to see the sequel because she 'wasn't drawn to it'; Anne returns to the sofa and states that they should try and do a border all the way around, before agreeing with Goldie's suggestion that they make it white-white-colour-colour, and Sue mentions that they should use two different colours.
8.30 Melinda adjusts her mike, as Les Dennis talks to her about his time on Family Fortunes, and states that 'it's not the same' in its current format before saying that he had the 'best time' out of the show. Anne clarifies the formation of the border, while Les states that his stint on Family Fortunes came just after the death of his partner Dustin Gee; 'he died too young', Sue says, and Les states that Dustin died the way he wanted too before mentioning that he was the only one left on stage at the end of the performance where Tommy Cooper died on stage.
8.32 'He knew he was on borrowed time', Les states before saying that Dustin just went for it, and collapsed in a dressing room on New Year's Day, dying three days later; 'he'd had a rocking New Year', Les says before telling Mark that Dustin was 43. 'I thought he was older than that', Sue says, before Melinda states that she wants her kids to put lip gloss on her when she's about to kick the bucket. 'I'll have to go after Wayne, because I wanna look after him', Melinda says before the others encourage her to stop being morbid.
8.34 Les mentions that Dustin Gee was still in a stage act three years before he died, while Sue mentions that Benny Hill had loads of uncashed royalty cheques after he died; 'he was stupidly underrated', Les says, and states that the people who called him a 'pervert' for chasing the girls were completely missing the point. 'It was postcard humour', he adds, before Sue mentions that the girls he chased wouldn't have been his type anyway; Les states that comedians don't get the recognition until they die, with Sue citing Les Dawson as a prime example.
8.37 Melinda mentions how much she enjoys the work of Johnny Vegas, and states that she saw a gig he put on at an open-air theatre in Regent's Park, where he encouraged the crowd to rush the stage and they did, removing all his clothes; 'it was so funny', she says, while Les recalls a gig Vegas put on when he begun his career. Sue tells Mark that he's stitching his pieces together fine, and Melinda says that sewing would be quite a nice job for her to do.
8.39 Goldie puffs his cheeks as everyone continues to sew, while Anne tells Melinda that she's sewing the border but only with her felt; 'I'm trying to obey the rules', she says, before Les states that BB probably doesn't know the rules themselves. She convinces Melinda that she's obeying the rules, and jokingly calls her a 'stickler', which causes Les to mention that he's a 'rules person'. Goldie states that the sewing is getting to him, which Les agrees with.
8.41 Melinda states that she was told that trivial tasks are good for easing depression; 'occupational therapy', Sue calls it, and Goldie wonders if the BB production team let the public go on tours around the complex, like they do in 'Eastenders'. Everyone answers positively when Goldie asks them if they're looking forward to apple bowls, and Sue mentions that she'll take part when she's finished her patch sewing. She stumbles after getting up from the sofa, which causes Anne to laugh and Goldie to interpret it as 'a sign'.
8.47 Les rubs his eyes and yawns as he walks around and looks at himself in one of the mirrors, before sighing again and leaning back against the wall, while Goldie states that he's got into his full sewing rhythm; 'I hate when that happens', he says as he makes another mistake, while Les climbs to the top of the stairs and sits down, looking quite jaded. Sue and Mark are at the patio doors with cigarettes, and Sue mentions that the close-together environment they're in is very clever.
8.50 Sue encourages the camera near to her not to pick up the boil on her cheek, and covers the lens with her hand as Mark finishes his cigarette and grasps his glass of wine; 'I've got a brilliant idea - I might do some sewing', he says as he returns inside, and Goldie takes Melinda up on her offer of a cup of tea. Les states that he's finished the 5x5 he had to do, 'but it's crap', while Anne tells him that it probably doesn't matter; Sue picks up her guitar, while Melinda asks everyone who wants tea rather than coffee.
8.51 'Carpets and bumholes', Les sings to the tune of 'Pancakes and Trousers', while Sue tells him that she wears glasses 'because they show me off a bit better' and she is only short sighted in one of her eyes. She tells Les that she wasn't quite stabbed in the eye with Melinda's mascara brush yesterday, and Goldie makes up lyrics to the notes Sue strums on the guitar.
8.53 Goldie continues to sing, Sue continues to play but then stops saying that she 'can't be bothered with it'; she then decides to walk like a robot to the far end of the house, and reckons that 'we'll be blind and dysfunctional beyond belief' when they come out of the house. 'I'll be demand to be filmed in bed', she says as she goes to see what Anne is up to, and to put a mock-up Alice band on her. 'It's the Karate Kid!', Mark says.
8.55 Mark asks if anyone has his lighter, while Les walks around the sofa and sits back down; 'I've had enough', says Anne, and Mark tells her that she can stop as she's done more than enough so far. Anne asks Melinda for a pear drop but there are only cola bottles left, while Les takes up the extra coffee that Melinda has made. Sue 'dances' in the kitchen, and states that she's forgotten most of the other moves that Mark taught her, which Melinda isn't too impressed about.