Big Brother 13 Launch Night - Live blog
Published Jun 5 2012, 20:48 BST | By Alex Fletcher
© Channel 5
A whole host of new weirdos, misfits and entertainers are about to walk through the famous Elstree compound's doors tonight for more than two months of tasks, romances and bust-ups.
Host Brian Dowling will be welcoming Big Brother's latest victims across the evening, but will they find a new star among the hopefuls? Could there be a new Jade, Kate or Brian? Or will we be left with a bunch of Gos, Jonty and Shabnams?
Digital Spy will be live-blogging the launch from 9pm when the show kicks off on Channel 5.
22:46So that's it for this year's Big Brother launch night. Probably not a vintage launch, but the twist turned out to be quite funny - purely for evil eyes Victoria - and I'm feeling quite positive about this clan of misfits. Bring on the backstabbing, tasks and melodrama!
22:41The third housemate she picks is Lydia. Andy Scott-Lee's girlfriend. Her Big Brother stint could be as brief as Andy's pop career.
22:40Deana has picked Conor and his c**k watch. She's also picked Victoria for having "evil eyes". Forget the evil eyes, Victoria looks like she's going to shove her fist down Deana's throat.
22:37We're quite enjoying the game of 'Don't Make Eye Contact' with Deana. Some of the housemates are doing very well at it.
22:36Pick Scott! Pick Scott! Pick Scott!
22:36Deana's moment of truth is here. Who will she nominate?
22:35Right, back to Brian Dowling's twist. We may as well stick with it. Brian seems excited about it, even if nobody else is. Bless him.
22:32So what do you make of that bunch? It's the usual mixture of irritants, big-gobs and daft sorts, but I'm quite liking the look of this gaggle. A bit more diverse and interesting than last year's bunch at least. Do you have an early favourite? Let us know below!
© Channel 5
22:28Where does the plastic end and the face begin? Victoria has done naughty modelling in the past, she loves her dogs, she loves flirting, she's packed 8 bikinis and she's after a man. So, she's the brains of the house.
22:26The final housemate of the night is Victoria. And blimey, she's 41. In the world of Big Brother on Channel 5, she's a pensioner.
22:23Who inflated Joe Pasquale and put him in the Big Brother house? Next up is squeaky-voiced Chris. He's a chubby bailiff who claims to live in a s**g pad. Hmm. He strikes me as a virgin.
© Channel 5
22:20Benedict is the poshest pornstar ever. Not that we know about that sort of thing. Obviously. *checks internet history is cleared*.
22:19Ah, just what this show needed - a pornstar. He's called Benedict and he's got some tight trousers on. Eyes up here ladies, eyes up here.
22:16Three housemates to go!
22:13Lydia doesn't want to be held back by the fame of Andy Scott-Lee. She doesn't want to piggy back on his success. *snigger* She's a dancer, so she does some dirty slut-drop moves for Brian Dowling on the walkway. You're wasting your time there love.
22:11Blimey - namedropper alert - the next housemate is Lydia, the girlfriend of Andy Scott-Lee. Yes, that Andy Scott-Lee. You know, the one who's never really made it, but is the brother of Lisa from Steps. Yes, THAT famous.
22:06The latest housemate is Luke. He describes himself as a Jack The Lad. He's probably quite handsome. If you can see past the thick layer of smug and the vacant brain area. He like sex, girls and all that stuff. He's a parody of a parody of a Big Brother male housemate.
22:04F**k. F**k. F**k. Excuse our bad language, but this appears to be one of seven words that "Essex girl" Ashleigh understands. Brian Dowling communicates a whole conversation with her that includes at least 345 F-bombs. What would Davina "don't say f**k or bugger" McCall have thought.
22:01Producer one."Who shall we put in the house? Producer two. "This one girl calls herself a psycho." Producer one. "Get her in there." Welcome to Ashleigh.
21:59Brian Dowling is explaining the opening twist again. It's still not very exciting.
© Channel 5
21:58What with all these poshos, anyone would think that the Big Brother producers were just hanging around the Made In Chelsea casting sessions, picking up rejects.
21:55Scott's snorts, guffaws and snobbery make the Queen's Jubilee seem like a celebration of working class hardship.
21:54Scott is here! And Scott makes the other housemates look like Mother Teresa, Ghandi and George Orwell. "My father is a ruffian... and I do have family connections to some chavs." Ugh. The only thing worse than a dumbo posho? A fake posh dumbo.
© Channel 5
21:50Sara does look rather splendid in a tiny little gold dress. She stinks of trouble though. Plenty of Scottish feist in that girl.
21:47Next up? Sara from Edinburgh. A model (ooh, you don't get many of them to the pound in Big Brother) who has a temper and an attraction to chavs. She sounds lovely.
© Channel 5
21:45The next housemate is Adam. He's seen drugs, crime and prison in the mean streets of LA. He's also from Dudley. Word!
21:42The ever controversial Frankie Boyle just made us giggle on Twitter. He just pointed out that Luke won't be the first "fake c**k" to enter the Big Brother house. *Chortle*
© Channel 5
21:38Now that's what we call a twist. The next housemate is Luke. He's a he. But he used to be a she. Move over Nadia, we've got a new favourite transgender housemate. He seems to be a fairly decent chap. Two thumbs up from us.
21:33Next up? Dainty and kooky Jersey-girl Lauren. She's a farm girl and she's got a gigantic mouth. These are the only interesting facts I've picked up from her VT. The fact that she's not too offensive makes her an early potential winner. Better to start with a sizzle rather than a bang, I reckon.
© Channel 5
21:29Next up is a chap called Conor. He likes getting naked and his party trick is called the c**k watch. You really don't need to know the details, but it's nice to know that he goes to the extra mile and draws a clock face on 'it'. Let's hope Brian Dowling doesn't ask for a time-check.
21:27Best Marcus Bentley pointless fact of the night. Apparently Shievonne enjoys watching Columbo. Brilliant. "Just one more thing Big Brother."
© Channel 5
21:25Rightio - the next housemate is Shievonne. Apparently she hasn't drunk any water for 6 years. She must be parched.
21:23We're like Brian Dowling's silver glittery mic tonight. Very Top Of The Pops circa 1976.
21:22Caroline is worried about tough tasks on Big Brother like... making the bed. Oh Jesus wept.
© Channel 5
21:19Oh my giddy aunt. Housemate number three is Caroline. Judging by her accent, her full name is probably Caroline Wibbly Thistle-Quimby-Smythe the Third. She's on her second gap yaaaaarh. The whole, backward hair combing, shabby chic shtick can't disguise her poshness and the fact that she looks like she just walked off the set of Made In Chelsea. Oh darling, what will Binky and Caggie think?!
21:14The second housemate is called Aaron. He does a nice line in egomania. "I think I'm funny... I've been slapped in clubs a few times. I don't care. It's their loss." Hmm. A little less time on the hair flicking, a little more time on your social skills wouldn't go amiss.
21:12Deana seems unfussed about her twist. She's got 43 dresses with her, she does karate. She's got some attitude. She's not bothered about nominating three people she's never met before.
21:10Deana's punishment for being picked at random. She must nominate tonight - live! Not even the rowdy Elstree crowd can summon up much excitement at this rather over-complicated and underwhelming twist.
© Channel 5
21:08There is going to be a twist tonight. Brian gives us some lengthy explanation about an independent adjudicator in the house fiddling with some balls (it's all a bit National Lottery). But the basic premise and facts we need to know are that Deana - the first housemate - is going to suffer. Poor girl.
21:06I swear we've seen those dance moves from Brian Dowling down Infernos in Clapham before. The BB host prances down the famous BB catwalk with some dancing girls. He's clearly picked up his dance skills from Sir Cliff's moves at the Jubilee gig last night.
21:06Move over Gary Barlow and your Buckingham Palace fireworks. Shove off Queenie and you silly boats. We've got a new Big Brother launch night to celebrate. Woop! Woop!
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Since When did Big Brother become a Pageant Parade? All but 2 are young, good looking and normal, where are the weirdos, freaks and oldies they are the ones who make Big Brother good, hence why last year was a snore fest because they were all the same and just wanted to snog each other!
Brian Dowling wasn't making the Launch much better by making each contestant show off their muscles or fabulous legs.
Channel 5 are trying to turn this into TOWIE and not the "experiment" it was originally meant to be, there needs to be a mix
June 6th 2012 at 10:28am(+1 like)
Since When did Big Brother become a Pageant Parad? All but 2 are young, good looking and normal, where are the weirdos, freaks and oldies they are the ones who make Big Brother good, hence why last year was a snore fest because they were all the same and just wanted to snog each other!
Brian Dowling wasn't making the Launch much better by making each contestant show off their muscles or fabulous legs.
Channel 5 are trying to turn this into TOWIE and not the "experiment" it was originally meant to be, there needs to be a mix
June 6th 2012 at 10:28am
The lass that had one scene in Mamma Mia and was given a birthday cake by Pierce Brosnan, I thought they usually kept stars of that calibre for Celebrity Big Brother?
June 6th 2012 at 12:03am(+3 likes)
I enjoyed the launch, now that I have Channel 5 in the house I'm bound to be an avid BB viewer again,
June 5th 2012 at 11:28pm(+1 like)
good mixture. liking Luke A so far. the posh ones and essex ones are annoying
enjoyed the blog!
June 5th 2012 at 10:36pm